This love is ours.

Joshua,

You know, it's crazy to really think about the Bible. To think about the Story. How God's people always messed up, then He would give them another chance, they would usually mess up again, etc. The whole Story from Creation till the second coming of Jesus (including all our lives) is full of the redemptive power of God and the Cross. God forgiving His people over and over turning what could be awful sin or circumstances into a life of meaning and purpose. He uses them in great ways to impact the world they leave behind and ultimately impact the number of souls in heaven. When I think about that, it makes me stand in awe of a God that loves us so much and wants to use screwed up people like us to bring Him glory. 

We do have a very unique story. And it is definitely one that I would have never imagined would be true for me. I saw my love story going a little differently. I am sure you did too. However, I am grateful that despite everything, our story is one where we have been able to see the redemption that God offers and truly seen how He can make beauty from the ashes. He is full of grace and He loves us. I believe God brought us together and I really believe He has a great plan for us and ways that He is planning on using us, and our story will be a part of that. I think we are unique and because of that and how I believe God will impact others through us, I am grateful.

God has taught me a lot since I've been with you. My thinking about His character and His plan, etc has deepened. I've asked a lot more questions. God has shown me how much I judge others, without knowing them or their circumstances. I don't even realize I do that most of the time. I've learned how to better stand up for myself and be confident in who I am and my decisions. God challenged me in my desperate need for man's approval, not just in who I am but in the decisions I make (which led me to make decisions for myself based on what others would think.) It's still a battle but I know and am practicing, God then people. I've learned that people worth listening to are the people that will ask questions and listen, without judgement and then share advice. I've learned what it means when people say the things worth having are worth waiting for (like a kiss from you!) I've experienced what it should feel like to be truly loved and adored by someone. I have, without a doubt, no question that you will fight for me and do whatever it takes. You show me what it looks like to try at selflessness in a relationship and that is a challenge to me to be selfless. It makes me think, if both people are looking out for the other and putting the other person's needs first....hmm that would make for a pretty good marriage. At the same time I see how sinful I am and know how much I absolutely need Jesus and his forgiveness and redemption. We both sin and I know it won't be perfect but I know we will try and give it everything we have. I know we will forgive and forget and I know that we both believe it's worth the fight. I've learned that I want to impact the Kingdom of God, in this life, with you, until I die.

I think I like the new Taylor Swift song 'Ours' so much because I believe in a lot of ways that is us.
'Seems like there is always someone who disapproves.
They judge it like they know about me and you.
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do.
The jury's out, my choice is you.

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the waters rough
But this love is ours.

And it's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong and
Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong and
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you..."

This love is ours. I love you, forever and ever, babe!